Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize