did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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