I saw his package. It spoke to me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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