drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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