I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
