it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize