so explain again why im purple
no
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
