therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize