It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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