I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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