I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
