..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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