I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
