This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
