ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
