trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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