neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sorry about my life...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
