My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We just shotgunned beers for America
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
