Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
