I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
