How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
