6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
