fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
