sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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