I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
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Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize