Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
