adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
