Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
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I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
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I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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