I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
