your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
