Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize