Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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