I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize