I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
