i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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