Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
