I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
