You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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