apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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