I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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