try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize