Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
