all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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