exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize