party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
