i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
