So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
