The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
