I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
