tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
