I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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