Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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