you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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