I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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