just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
