It's like God shit irony all over that family
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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