hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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