party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
