Sponge bath it is.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
