Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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