Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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