We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
