That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
